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Many of you are just beginning your cancer journey and are feeling scared and alone, wondering if there’s anyone else out there who knows how you’re feeling. I do. I vividly remember not being able to think about anything else, wondering if I would be here next year, or the year after that. I was terrified, panic-stricken and depressed.
I remember cowering in my car in PetSmart’s parking lot, crying hysterically, unable to pull myself together to go in and buy dog food, or get on the highway and drive home. I was desperate to the point of wondering if the lady coming out of PetSmart had any experience with cancer and could empathize with me, maybe put her arms around me and tell me everything would be alright. I watched her get in her car and drive away. She seemed so carefree... so normal, and I couldn't remember a time when I didn't have this out of control desperation like the sky was falling, and it would miss everyone but me. <PREVIEWEND> While I can’t take away your fears, I can give you hope by telling you I am now at a great place in my life. Whenever I say cancer was a gift, and I’ve heard other survivors say the same thing, my husband looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, but it’s true.
Tara Parker-Pope, Well blogs writer for the NYTimes.com, has been collecting cancer survivor stories. I have spent the morning reading their words and have come to the conclusion that for the most part, cancer survivors have two things in common: gratitude and a new found zest for life. Here are some of the common words and phrases I’ve pulled from over 600 stories.
• Life is now a combination of brilliance and gratitude.
• The gift of cancer has changed my life.
• I now look at life through grateful eyes.
• Calmer and filled with more purpose.
• Life is not the same; it’s so much better.
• Cancer’s brought out the best in me and my family.
• I am more myself.
• I look at my family with added perspective.
• I am no longer afraid of death and dying.
• The darkest and scariest time of my life turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
• I love my life!
Cancer is terrifying, but it is also life changing. I’m not saying any of us would have deliberately chosen cancer, but as an instinctual coping mechanism, we have dug deep in search of our strengths and found the gifts cancer has brought us. You are at a crossroads, and many of the changes you incur and the roads you take are a choice. Choose wisely, dear ones, and “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; and in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
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Luann commented on 24-May-2010 04:56 AM Brenda, I needed this post today. I am discouraged about the side effects of the aromitise inhibitors the doctor wants me to take. I have a choice between three...but when I look at the side effects it has sent me into a funk! Your scripture listed is one of my favorites. Thanks for the reminder to trust in the Lord with all my heart, lean not on my own understanding!
Brenda Coffee commented on 24-May-2010 02:08 PM Luann, I also had the aromatase inhibitor funk--a side effect they don't tell you about:) I took Arimidex for 5 years & only stopped 3 weeks ago. Because it blocked the estrogen my cancer feeds on, I didn't want to get off of them. I would have taken Arimidex forever, if I could have. My main side effect was creaky joints, but exercise, walking, every day, negated most of that for me. Even when I exercised, everyday, my joints felt creaky, but nothing compared to if I didn't exercise.
I've known women who've stopped the AI because of the side effects (not sure that's a good idea), yet when told walking would help them, they wouldn't walk. FYI, three days after I stopped taking them, I began to feel more like myself. Maybe you can focus on what AI is doing for you, not what it's doing to you. Please let me know how you're doing, Luann. I know how you're feeling about all of this. XOXOXOXO, Brenda
I've known women who've stopped the AI because of the side effects (not sure that's a good idea), yet when told walking would help them, they wouldn't walk. FYI, three days after I stopped taking them, I began to feel more like myself. Maybe you can focus on what AI is doing for you, not what it's doing to you. Please let me know how you're doing, Luann. I know how you're feeling about all of this. XOXOXOXO, Brenda
Luann commented on 24-May-2010 06:18 PM Thanks Brenda for the feedback. I went to acupuncture today and my doc is giving me the choice of all 3 so my acupuncturist will look at all three and make a recommendation. I have no problem with moving every day. When you read about the side effects it is at times overwhelming. I will keep you posted!
James Carter commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:54 PM I way the Boerne Star article. I lost my wife to cancer in 2006. One consequence of her sickness and death is that our son got a poor education through high school. She had been in charge of watching the kids education and I dropped the ball when she was having to take care of herself. I am not sure how you address this but trying to pay attention to everyone's needs during the whole ordeal is something to not forget.
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