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I sometimes wonder if I’m plagued with one of those trendy alphabet disorders like “OCD” or “ADD” that are favorite topics of morning talk shows. Or maybe the wiring in my brain temporarily short-circuits, causing the bimbo wires to mingle and override the common sense wires. Personally, I think it’s chemo brain, a result of my eight rounds of chemotherapy for breast cancer. Regardless of the underlying cause, foods packaged in neat cardboard boxes, like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, seem to trigger a response that makes me assign them human characteristics. <PREVIEWEND>
Most of us have personified an inanimate object by pointing out the "shapely legs” of a chair, or by calling an old pickup truck “a good old girl” or “a beauty,” but I have expanded the bounds of anthropomorphism one step further: I behave as though dried pasta has feelings. This condition typically happens when I open a box of macaroni and pour the contents into the pot. I imagine the stranded pieces of pasta glued to the bottom of the box are devastated at being left behind while their box mates go on to seek their destinies, tumbling and boiling together, soon to be a satisfying meal for hungry diners. I feel sorry for the macaroni left behind and find myself ripping open the box to free them, scraping away the remnants of glue and cardboard, then pushing them onto their boiling center stage.
When this happens, I know my husband wonders if I have lost my mind, but I prefer to believe my reasoning abilities are creatively expanding their horizons: The macaroni have been together since they were first extruded from Kraft’s giant pasta machines, then spread onto conveyor belts to dry. I see the blue and yellow Kraft boxes, newly crimped and formed, jockeying for position, one after the other, their labels facing the same direction, ready to be filled with newly made macaroni. One by one, cheese packets are added, boxes are sealed, then packed into larger boxes for shipping. By the time the macaroni reach my stove, I imagine how disappointed these pasta orphans must be, stuck to the bottom and denied their birthright of being “the cheesiest.”
Maybe I’ve watched too many dancing boxes of popcorn and singing colas while waiting for a movie to start, but I take comfort from the great architect, Louis Kahn, who said “a brick wants to be something more than a brick. It wants to be a great building.” Macaroni wants to be more than a dried glutinous mass. It wants to be a meal, amazing and creamy until the last bite.
My husband says bimbos and macaroni have a lot in common. He smiles knowingly as he pats the top of my head. “They both want to be more than they are, but their brains are stuck to the bottom of the box.”
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Previous Comments
marla commented on 30-Mar-2010 12:16 AM your chemo after effects are much better than mine. how long ago did you have chemo? I'm 3 years out and can't put 2 sentences together.
Buffalo Gal commented on 26-Apr-2010 05:34 PM Girl, you are hysterical! I love your blog. Don't take this the wrong way, but this one made me feel normal. Thats saying a lot.
Andy commented on 25-Aug-2010 10:04 PM You have a very creative mind.
Miriam commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:03 PM --- On Fri, 3/26/10, Cara's Alien Ranch
From: Cara's Alien Ranch
Subject: [Cara's Alien Ranch] Life Changes
To: c_milnor@yahoo.com
Date: Friday, March 26, 2010, 9:36 AM
life please
wait wait for me
best at first
our wishing well
of hopes and dreams
time in a hurry
days and years
slip and slide away
as wisdom seeps
and creeps like fog
into our days
age gives way to old
can't go back to late
fearing some memories
reminiscing the good ones
leaning pushing on reality
still hoping and dreaming
clinging to attention
not because of them
but because we cannot bear
our own company
fortune loses its power
what was first it gone
we cannot stop fragile days
and the quiet footsteps of death
having lived but half a life
craving the things
my world never possessed
not understanding
the changes
wait please wait
Susan Pollack commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:06 PM Brenda, I just couldn't believe this last blog. I do the same thing, and have for a while. My daughter says I have scarred her because I would say aren't you eating the last pea, he wants to go with his friends!. I know what you mean about the macaroni and other thing. What do you think this say about us? Maybe that we are creative or empathetic! Have a Happy Easter. Love
Barbara Swanson commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:08 PM ………or maybe you are eating too much white pasta and dried neon chemicals………..!!!!!
I love you!
I love you!
Celina Dewberry commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:15 PM Brenda,
I had forgotten what I did in those sensitivity sessions at the University of Texas Drama Department. This article really hit me as a reminder of performing as if I were a noodle. No wonder I too have empathy for the macaroni left behind !! Great writing and insight for feelings of inanimate things :)
I had forgotten what I did in those sensitivity sessions at the University of Texas Drama Department. This article really hit me as a reminder of performing as if I were a noodle. No wonder I too have empathy for the macaroni left behind !! Great writing and insight for feelings of inanimate things :)
Sally commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:15 PM I see nothing wrong with this brain maybe because mine is so mixed up. Really liked this ha
Shirley commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:17 PM You are a hoot. I love reading your e-mail. Love, Shirley R.
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