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The spring rains have blessed us with an abundance of wildflowers this year. They are everywhere, scattered along the roads and hillsides and nestled among the nopales--the prickly pear cactus. The Texas bluebonnets, Indian paint, Mexican hat and evening primrose are signs of rebirth and renewal. These earthbound bouquets remind me of the spring my chemo came to an end.
Every day for a month, I had willed myself to drive the 45 minutes to where Eduardo and Miguel were hard at work, restoring the old ranch hand bunkhouse we affectionately call the Little House. Nature’s spring carpet paved my way, giving me energy, blossom by beautiful blossom, freeing me from a body tired from cancer and chemo. Seconds after leaving the freeway, the traffic faded away, replaced by Axis and Whitetail deer, Texas Longhorns and the daily progress on the neighbor’s new house down the way. <PREVIEWEND>
Our road twists and turns skyward, cutting through layers of time warped by billions of years of unseen forces. James and I are blessed to be temporary stewards of this beautiful land once frequented by Comanches, dotted with stagecoach stops and home to over a century of hard-working ranchers.
That spring, everyday when I got to the ranch, Eduardo and Miguel would be sanding and scraping away all evidence of the ranch hand families who’d occupied our 484-square-foot house. I wondered how many people had lived in this small space? It is a joyous home, flooded with sunshine and a gentle breeze. I like to think babies were conceived and born here; women baked pies and hung laundry while their men cleared cedar and raised cattle. Their lives were simple, but good. I prayed we would be as lucky. The promise of the life we could have here mended my soul. It gave me the hope I was cancer free with years to linger and laugh and give thanks for another spring.
For now, we have made this tiny 100-year-old house our home. It nourishes our soul and fills our spirit. The pine floors and limestone fireplace comfort us. Our house is shaded by Post Oaks that flicker shadows across the old tin roof: a patina of rust and yellow, mingled with patches of silver and gray. At night we listen to the elk bugle on a neighbor’s ranch and take solace in this respite of calm; we revel in the new directions our lives have taken.
Once again, God had blessed us with another spring of rebirth and the hope that each of you finds solid footing on your journey through cancer.
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Previous Comments
Gina commented on 20-Apr-2010 04:52 PM My surgery is healed and I start chemo next Thursday. I like knowing you've survived. It's the not knowing about anything that scares me most. My coworker had breast cancer 15 years ago but hers was a different kind.
Josey commented on 22-Apr-2010 09:25 PM I started chemo the week before Christmas. Needless to say our family was worried and scared. You talk about spring and rebirth which makes me think about the birth of Jesus. Next year we will focus on Jesus's birth and not that was when I started chemo. Thank you. Love your blog. Josey.
Glenda commented on 18-Sep-2010 06:40 PM I want you to know how much I appreciate your blog. What an inspiration you are to me!!!!!
Love,
Glenda
Love,
Glenda
Barbara Swanson commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:30 PM You write very beautifully!
Linda commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:31 PM JUST PLAIN AWSOME!!!!!!!
Heather commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:32 PM Brenda,
Your words must inspire mass numbers of women - I only wish all could see what these flowers are truly like- It IS magical!
XOXO,
Heather
Your words must inspire mass numbers of women - I only wish all could see what these flowers are truly like- It IS magical!
XOXO,
Heather
June commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:33 PM Hi Brenda,
You truly have a gift for writing. Felt like I was with you as you described where you live, the flowers and the area surrounding you.
Thanks for sharing with us.
June
You truly have a gift for writing. Felt like I was with you as you described where you live, the flowers and the area surrounding you.
Thanks for sharing with us.
June
Fonceale Cole commented on 18-Sep-2010 08:35 PM How inspirational are your messages and how beautifully worded. You are a lovely blessing and I'm so happy James has you.
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