Do you ever feel the need to focus on something other than breast cancer, or maybe the need to get away, even if it's somewhere imaginary? While going through chemo my lack of energy made a trip to the kitchen feel like a trek to another county, and chemo brain turned reading into an Olympic sport. As a result I spent a lot of time in bed or in front of TV, watching cooking shows and The Young and the Restless, waiting for my energy to return. I soon discovered ways to have mini vacations without going anywhere, destinations that help me find a strong sense of inner peace and let go of things over which I have no control. One of those destinations is the daybed on the porch at the Little House.<PREVIEWEND>

Each week I try and spend time there, talking to God, listening to a meditation or hypnosis CD, or imagining myself atop my favorite Mayan ruin that overlooks the Caribbean. Other times I leaf through magazines, polish my toenails or simply watch the squirrels scamper from limb to limb. Just being there replenishes the Zen part of me breast cancer has pushed aside: the part that helps me squash my obsessive-compulsive worrywart and makes breathing easier.

When the morning breeze stops and the squirrels retreat from the impending heat, I realize my stolen time away is over. Like the squirrels, I find a cooler place to wait until the next time I can visit my healing place. Tell me about your healing place, or how you let go of your worries and fear. If you do not have a healing place, how are you going to find one?

©Brenda Coffee.  All rights reserved.

Did you know the main purpose of Vitamin D is to maintain a needed level of calcium so our bones stay strong? Did you know Vitamin D may, or may not, have a relationship to breast cancer? For women with, and without breast cancer, the Vitamin D controversy is a conundrum. We need more information.<PREVIEWEND>

For starters, in a 2008 study reported by the American Cancer Institute, women with the lowest levels of Vitamin D at the time of their breast cancer diagnosis, had nearly double the risk of their disease progressing, as compared to women with “adequate” levels of Vitamin D. Does that mean women, without breast cancer, who are interested in preventing a metastasis (should they ever get breast cancer), take Vitamin D, and if so, how much?

Secondly, the same study said survival rates of women with estrogen receptor negative breast cancer, which is generally more aggressive, was not related to their Vitamin D levels. Other scientists are quick to say that while there is much published research on Vitamin D, and its relationship to breast cancer, the findings are debatable.

So what does this study mean for women who have, or do not have breast cancer? Many doctors ask patients if they take calcium and Vitamin D, but have any of your doctors ever ordered a blood test to check your level of Vitamin D? What are “adequate” levels of Vitamin D? Do most doctors even know how much this?

Here is what we do know about Vitamin D and breast cancer: If you take aromatase inhibitors, like Arimidex, it is especially important to get enough calcium and Vitamin D. As my oncologist says, calcium works in tandem with Vitamin D to keep our bones from “turning to mush.” It is also important to keep in mind that too much Vitamin D can be harmful, causing nausea, vomiting, constipation, weakness and changes in heart rhythm. If you are over 50, the Mayo Clinic recommends you take 400 to 600 IU a day, and that generally, the upper limit for Vitamin D is 2,000 IU a day.

In addition to Vitamin D in pill form, small amounts of Vitamin D are naturally found in oily fish like salmon, tuna and mackerel, plus some cereals, dairy products and orange juice are fortified with Vitamin D. So, be a smart shopper. Check labels, and if you have a choice, reach for products with added Vitamin D.

We also know sunlight is a natural way our bodies make its own Vitamin D. If, however, you carry one of the BRCA genes, too much sun may raise your risk for melanoma and other types of skin cancer. Even if you are not BRCA positive, long-term exposure to UV rays can cause skin cancer, plus it is aging. I would not lay out in the sun, like a big ole lazy lizard, and justify it by saying, “I’m getting my Vitamin D.” Whether you are out on a sunny or cloudy day, use sunscreen and reapply it often.

Then there is the debate about tanning beds vs. natural sunlight. Where does this all stop?

©Survivorship Media Network, LLC.  All rights reserved.

Hearing the words “you have breast cancer” is like sticking a wet finger in a light socket. A bolt of fear and a rush of adrenaline pulsates through your body. You get lighted-headed, like you are about to faint. Your heart races out of control and then nearly stops from fear. At least that is how I reacted.

I spent the first few days after my diagnosis in shock and terror. I did not wonder why this had happened to me, but how this had happened to me? I had done everything right: I exercised five, sometimes six days a week, ate a disgustingly healthy diet, got regular mammograms, watched my weight and drank in moderation. Up until then, everyone I knew with cancer had died. Knowing what I know now, many of these deaths should not have come as a shock. Many of them were not fighters.<PREVIEWEND>

During the first few days after a cancer diagnosis, the fighters begin to recover from shock and move into a questioning, fact-finding mode. What kind of cancer do I have? What does that mean? What can we do about it? How do I increase my chances of survival? The defeated, for lack of a better term, never ask questions and, even more importantly, do not want to know the answers. You would be surprised how many cancer patients, who could have beaten their cancer, succumb to related problems and adopt a “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” mode.

Today my husband and I visited legendary sports photographer, Neil Leifer’s, gallery at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. As I looked at the countless iconic images of sports heroes he has captured over the years, it occurred to me they all have one thing in common: They are fighters. They did not sit on the sidelines, watching while someone else told them what to do. They were smack in the middle of the showdown, determined, willing themselves to win, and often, dragging themselves across the finish line.

Many people I knew, who died of cancer, were passive. They stood on the sidelines as though their fate was a foregone conclusion. While that was not the case with some, many surrendered their will to fight before the fight had even begun.

Muhammad Ali would say my right cross leaves a lot to be desired, but I am a great fighter. My doctors and nurses are my coaches. We are a team. Never have I thrown in the towel or surrendered my emotional and spiritual control to sit on the sidelines. When chemo battered me with hard punches, I went into Muhammad Ali’s infamous “rope a dope” mode, laying low until the chemo had no more punches left, then I got back up and started jabbing.

Cancer fights dirty.  Are you someone who fights back, or do you sit on the sidelines and watch? The answer may be an important key to winning or losing your fight.

©Brenda Coffee.  All rights reserved.

This week we are in Las Vegas while my husband plays in the Main Event of the World Series of Poker. For those of you who have never been to “Sin City,” 36DDs are the building blocks of the local economy. While local hotels feature glamorous big-breasted showgirls, tourists of all ages and sizes seem compelled to flaunt their breasts, shoving them upward and outward like fresh melons in the produce section.

Las Vegas plays on mans’ primal preoccupation with the female form. Large lighted billboards, backs of taxi cabs and local magazines display photos of “Girls, Girls, Girls,” while the Las Vegas Yellow Pages features 80 pages of “Busty Blonds, Discrete and Intimately Yours.” Las Vegas is amazing, but it makes it difficult to reconcile the 250,000 newly diagnosed cases of breast cancer each year, in America alone, with our in-your-face preoccupation with breasts. Breast cancer families must come to terms with the fact that life, love and relationships are the important building blocks of human nature, not breasts. 

Sure, Mother Nature gave women breasts to attract males, in the first place, so we could propagate the species and feed our young. But what does it say about women when we publicly assume the image of a 17-year-old celebrity by wearing low cut, baby doll tops on shopping trips with our kids to Wal-Mart? I am not a feminist, but I do have a healthy dose of self-respect, and I want a man who views me the same way. That is not to say I have not brought along my sexy black lingerie and thigh highs with the deliberate intention of entertaining my husband, while we are here, but I am not my breasts. On the other hand, since neither of my breasts are the ones Mother Nature gave me, I should fit right in with Las Vegas:-)

©Brenda Coffee.  All rights reserved.

While waiting in pre-op for my second mastectomy and reconstruction surgery, I began to think breast cancer survivors should be able to accrue “frequent mammary miles” for each and every procedure we have done: mammograms, ultrasounds, chemo, radiation, surgeries, etc.  When we get enough “miles,” we could redeem them for a free trip to Las Vegas, or maybe a diamond bracelet.  After all, a mastectomy should be worth more than an upgrade to business class, or a free drink on an airline.  When I shared this idea with my husband, he just grinned and said, “I see the drugs are kicking in.”<PREVIEWEND>

That surgery is behind me, but I have one more to go—the removal of my saline-filled tissue expander and replacement with a permanent silicone gel implant, or as permanent as those things get.  If a Frequent Mammary Miles program were in place, I imagine I have earned enough points to get a diamond ring in exchange for my right mastectomy, a diamond necklace for my left mastectomy and a pair of matching earrings for getting through chemotherapy.  I have never been a diamond kind-of-girl, having been happier with a trip to a Mayan ruin or a ride on an Iditarod dog sled in Wyoming, but recently, those sparkly stones have begun to peak my interest.

Next month, my husband and I are going to Las Vegas, so he can play in the World Series of Poker.  Mind you, this will not be a free trip, plus I will be working on the website and sending you daily blogs.  Perhaps James will even win big and buy me that bracelet I saw last year at the Wynn Hotel.  They say diamonds are forever, but breast implants are not.  If Frequent Mammary Miles become a reality, that’s not all bad, you know.  More implants equals more miles:)