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Dogs and Old Lace

Sunday, November 27, 2011


FRIDAY: I’m preparing the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten’s, recipe for Boeuf Bourguignon. For the first time in almost a year, my tiny house is alive with the smells of chopped garlic and yellow onions, simmering in bacon fat. I know... Not exactly the beginnings of a meal designed to lessen my risk of recurrence, but it gets better, or worse, depending on your point of view. I still need to add a bottle of Cabernet, half a cup of Cognac and two pounds of red meat.<PREVIEWEND> Because this inspired dish rises to the ‘Heaven on Earth’ category the second day, I’ve invited my friend Rob for dinner tomorrow. Rob and I’ve been buddies since college. It was Rob and his friends, I affectionately call them ‘the River Oaks Boys,’ who inspired me to learn to cook well. Give any of the River Oaks Boys a bag of random ingredients, and they’ll deliver you a gourmet treat.


SATURDAY: This isn’t where I saw this blog, or this day going. I didn’t sleep last night because I’m on “poop and vomit patrol.” I wasn’t going to mention it, but while I was having Thanksgiving at a friend’s, my dog Goldie ate 15 square feet of a 150-year-old sheer lace summer spread that hangs behind my bed. The logistics of how this big girl got behind my bed is still a puzzlement, but her life is now in danger.

The vet says I must monitor Goldie’s bowel movements until she either passes the lace and/or begins to vomit and moan in agony. If the lace becomes entangled in her intestines, she will need emergency surgery, and because of her advanced age, there’s no guarantee she’ll survive surgery or the weeks of needed rehab. To do surgery now will further put her life in danger, so for the next few days, it’s wait and see. To help her pass this massive quantity of lace, I’m feeding her small meals every four hours to which I’m adding Metamucil. Every hour, or so, I take her outside and poke through her now frequent feces with a stick, searching for remnants of lace. If the lace doesn’t kill her, I fear she’ll explode from all of the food I’m feeding her. Other than watching me watch her, for the time being, Goldie seems to be fairing better than I am.

It’s been 11 months, today, since James died, and I’m not ready to lose another loved one. I never had children, so my dogs are my kids, my family. James always said, “Goldie’s our smart dog,” and she is. I wish she could talk because, clearly, she knows she’s in trouble. My vets are on call, but I worry her situation will ratchet up another notch in the middle of the night. I read a book on my iPad, then pull the bed away from the wall, yet another time, hoping against hope the bulk of the lace is stuck somewhere under the bed.

My Boeuf Bourguignon has become a casualty of the poop patrol. In between looking for lace in the cold rain, I lost tract of how much salt I added, so my gourmet feast is inedible. I call Rob and cancel dinner. After describing Goldie’s crisis, Rob tells me he’s having a crisis of his own. Bozo, his clownfish, is listing to starboard in Rob’s new salt water aquarium. Just when he thinks she’s a gonner, she rights herself for a time, only to list to starboard again. We vow to keep one another posted.

I try to remember all the odd things my vet says dogs consume, and survive, like garden hoses, corncobs and jump ropes, but I’m still worried. While a few remnants of lace are beginning to appear, 98 percent has not. I dread tomorrow. We’ll be closer to resolving her problem, but what if that resolution kills her?

SUNDAY: I didn’t go to church today so I can continue to feed and monitor Goldie. She’s my dear friend, my best girl, and she trusts me to take good care of her. I hope she knows how much I love her. She’s smart and funny, with a great sense of humor, something neither Sam nor Molly have. I ask God to “Please let her be alright.” She’s a major part of what’s made me and my tiny house come alive again. I still need this precious girl in my life.
















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Thyroids and Mammograms

Sunday, November 13, 2011
Do you visit your dentist once a year or get an annual mammogram? Did you know that thyroid cancer is the fastest growing cancer in women? At first glance, teeth and mammograms don’t seem like they’d be related to thyroid cancer, but according to a story from Dr. Oz that keeps circulating on the Internet, there is evidence that exposure to radiation from dental x-rays and mammograms may contribute to thyroid cancer in women.<PREVIEWEND>

The thyroid is a small, butterfly-shaped gland located in the front of the neck and below the voice box. The thyroid makes hormones that control heart rate, blood pressure, temperature and the rate at which our food is turned into energy, but sometimes, it can go awry. We know that women who received moderate levels of radiation during the 1950s and 60s to treat acne, tonsillitis and other head and neck problems, or from radiation therapy used to treat Hodgkins Lymphoma, have a higher risk of developing some types of thyroid cancer. In Eastern Europe there’s an even higher risk of thyroid cancer among people who, as children and adolescents, were exposed to excess radiation from the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. But do most of us really have to fear thyroid cancer from x-rays and mammograms?

Dr. Mehmet Oz, surgeon and TV personality, suggests the next time our dentist wants to take x-rays of our teeth, we should ask for a lead thyroid guard, a flap that can be wrapped around the neck to protect the thyroid. Dr. Oz also informs us that radiologists who routinely do mammograms have thyroid guards, but since most of us have never heard of, or asked for one, it may be in a drawer somewhere and not readily available. While a thyroid guard sounds like a simple solution, the plot unfortunately thickens. There are drawbacks to using a thyroid guard during mammograms because guards can obscure part of the breast tissue or can produce shadows, thereby causing us to need another mammogram, which in turn, exposes us to double the dose of radiation.

In April 2011, the American College of Radiology and Society of Breast Imaging issued a statement disclaiming the notion that mammograms expose women to enough radiation to raise concerns about thyroid cancer. Even so, the Dr. Oz story continues to circulate on the Internet, raising concerns among women. So what do we do?

An argument can be made that even though our radiation risk is small, albeit cumulative over our lifetime, perhaps we should err on the side of caution and ask for a thyroid guard. On the other hand, the benefits of a mammogram shouldn’t prevent us from getting one annually, and since poor dental health can be a contributing factor to heart disease and strokes, let’s not forgo our visit to the dentist either. In the meantime, the controversy continues. Will you ask for a thyroid guard?








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Guided Imagery and Healing

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Most of us know what it's like to grieve the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, or the loss of our healthy selves to a disease like breast cancer. Sometimes, however, our grief runs so deep that it’s difficult for us to heal and move on. An external force has made it nearly impossible for me to heal after James’ death and regain my footing. Guided Imagery, however, is helping me turn my darkness into light. For the first time since our family dissolved, I think I’m finally able to let go of my hurt and my anger.<PREVIEWEND>

Guided Imagery is a powerful relaxation technique that helps us engage our breathing while we create healing images in our mind. This technique has been clinically shown to help reduce stress, anxiety, depression, pain, the effects of chemotherapy, to promote healing and more. Thanks to a blog written by Britta Aragon, I remembered what Guided Imagery did for me this time last year when I was the target of a sinister, high speed chase down 10 miles of a dark, deserted, dead end country road. After 10 days of drowning, reliving the terror, I sought the help of a certified Guided Imagery therapist who helped me create a mental shield to stop my recurring thoughts and to reassure myself I was safe. From that moment on, whenever I began replaying that terrifying night, the mental shield came to mind, and within days, that night no longer held any fear for me. Once again I am using Guided Imagery to help me stop reliving every sentence of my hurt, the same hurt and disappointment James felt and cried over in the days leading up to his death.

Thank you, Britta, for introducing me to Belleruth Naparstek, psychotherapist, author and Guided Imagery pioneer. Belleruth Naparstek is the creator of the popular 55-title Time Warner Health Journeys Guided Imagery audio series, and her first book, Staying Well with Guided Imagery is widely considered to be the primer on imagery and healing. Her materials are used by the Veteran’s Administration and the Department of Defense as well as mainstream health companies like Aetna and GlaxoSmithKline and nearly 2,000 hospitals, mental health centers and recovery clinics that distribute her Guided Imagery recordings.

I’ve been using one of Belleruth Naparstek’s Guided Imagery audios, Heartbreak, Abandonment & Betrayal, that I downloaded from her website as an MP3 file onto my computer. Her voice is soft, yet strong and steady, as she evokes images of generations of my family that have gone before me; ancestors and loved ones who form a deep circle of protection around me. James is there as is his father and my grandmother, Mamie, her brother and even my father who I don’t think much about. They are my tribe, invested in my well-being because parts of them reside in me.

“We will stay with you as long as you want. You can come and go, but we will be here. We will hold you in our hearts while your heart heals, for as long as it takes.” Belleruth Naparstek guides my breath, instructing me to “breath out, bit by bit, slowly letting the pain go, breath by breath, sighing to acknowledge the longing and the yearning, the hollow emptiness, the fear and the aloneness, searching for what's been lost, the shame of feeling you've been thrown away, discarded, unlovable somehow, destabilized and wobbly, sighing to relieve all the pain you've absorbed from taking this injury so deep into your heart and holding it there."

By this time, tears are flowing down my cheeks, onto my pillow. “The pain within your heart feels as if something has been ripped from there, leaving a gaping hole, heart tissue all tender and torn. I promise you, this pain shall pass. Even this pain shall pass.”

 


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