Brenda's Blog: A Guide to Surviving Breast Cancer

Dear Kirk

Sunday, July 25, 2010

©Brenda Coffee All rights reserved.

I’m taking a slight departure from my regular breast cancer blog, because our son is leaving for law school this week. I say “our” son, when in fact he’s my stepson, but my heart doesn’t know that. Last week I was telling someone about Kirk’s leaving, and my eyes filled with tears. My voice caught in the back of my throat, and I had to stop. Other than my relationship with God, few things make me cry and you, dear Kirk, are one of them. <PREVIEWEND>

I remember when I first met you: You were 10, bright-eyed, eager and excited about everything and even then, like your Father, family was everything to you. I feel like you have given me far more than I’ve given you, and I thank you. Those years of knowing what’s it’s like to host sleepovers, cheer you on at Little League games and our talks in the kitchen after school... You took me along, with your infectious grin and loving heart, to baseball games and ski slopes and just past “GO” on Park Place.

In no time you started college and then one day, came home and said you’d joined the Army. Like your Grandpa and your Father before you, who volunteered during their wars, we shouldn’t have been too surprised, but it was a scary time for all of us. Even you. Once again America was at war, and all of us were aware that more than likely, you’d find your way to Iraq, Bosnia or Afghanistan. The day you graduated from basic training was an electric moment for us, like my diagnosis of breast cancer. It was real. You were a soldier, and there was no turning back.

Your Company was a hundred strong, and we heard your voices that day before we saw you. “I don’t know, but I’ve been told. My DI’s heart is made of gold.” Your polished boots hit the pavement in unison, keeping time to a singsong cadence repeated by generations of soldiers before you. “Sound off. Sound off. One, two, three, four. Three four.”

Your Mom and Dad and I watched as the top of the American flag crested the hill in the distance. One by one, rows of nearly identical-looking soldiers came into view. Eyes forward, slim caps tilted at the same angle, trench coats buttoned and belted for warmth and freshly creased dress pants, all in the time-honored shade of Army green. The shortest led the march, while rows and rows of soldiers of ever-increasing height magically unfolded out of the cold mist.

I stood on the curb behind your Mom, my hands on her shoulders, as we searched a sea of determined faces chiseled by basic training, lack of sleep, relentless drill sergeants and hand-to-hand combat training. The Army turns pimple-faced youths into killing machines, and they were marching toward us in unison.

It had been three months since we’d seen you, and it was hard for us to control our emotions. Finally, on the outside back row, I saw your silhouette. Later you said you’d picked my shearling coat out of the crowd. The same coat I’d worn when we huddled together in the back of a darkened shuttle bus in Jackson Hole, drinking Baileys Irish Cream from the bottle. Like truant children, we scrunched down low, passing the paper bag back and forth, imagining lurid headlines like “Woman Leads 15-Year-Old Stepson Astray.” Now as you marched over the hill, I felt like I was the child, and you were the adult. My eyes filled with tears, and I whispered in your Mother’s ear, “He looks like a man.” Your eyes caught mine and for a moment, I thought you might cry, too.

Yes, you went to Bosnia and Afghanistan, serving with a multi-national Special Forces unit, but God brought you home safely. You are still bright-eyed, eager and excited about everything, and still value family, God and country. Those are the qualities I love about you, and they are the qualities that will see you through law school and all the days of your life. I love you, sweet man, and rejoice at the man you have become. I’m so proud of you.

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Green Tea and Breast Cancer

Sunday, July 18, 2010

©Brenda Coffee All rights reserved.

When I was in my early twenties, I visited New York City for the first time and found myself in front of the famed Plaza Hotel, home to Eloise, the fictional 6-year-old girl who lived at The Plaza and who drove both employees and celebrated guests crazy. As I walked through the lobby, I decided to stop at the Palm Court, where “Afternoon Tea” is a daily tradition.

Seated under an enormous stained-glass ceiling, I sipped tea, dined on cucumber sandwiches and tried not to eavesdrop on Yoko Ono and her friend, while a nearby string quartet played Mozart, Beethoven and Schubert. <PREVIEWEND> That day I learned Afternoon Tea is a great way to take time out from our busy schedules, get centered and focus on something other than ourselves. If you’ve had breast cancer and want to prevent recurrence, or prevent breast cancer in the first place, you might consider developing your own tradition of Afternoon Tea. Taking time to connect with yourself, or disconnect, is good for your immune system, plus it strengthens your mind-body connection.

For starters, let talk about what kind of tea to drink and why: Instead of the traditional, Earl Gray, it may be more beneficial to drink green tea, preferably decaffeinated, and organically certified, Chinese green tea. While several studies have shown some of the chemicals in green tea have antioxidant properties that could be a powerful weapon in our fight against breast cancer, other studies are not as conclusive. I don’t know about you, but as long as decaff green tea doesn’t do me any harm, taking time to relax, listen to music, sit back and close my eyes, or read a few chapters in a good book, is a welcome daily practice. Since many of the teas grown in China have been sprayed with unsafe levels of pesticides, organically certified teas are the only way to be sure your tea is safe to drink.

TO MAKE GREAT TEA:
Bring water—the better the water, the better the tea—to a boil in a non-reactive tea kettle. Pre-heat your ceramic or porcelain tea pot, or cup, with some of the boiling water and let stand until the vessel is warm, then pour out the water. Simultaneously, turn off the heat under the tea kettle and let the water cool for 60 seconds before pouring it over the tea. If using tea bags, add one per cup. Some people cover their tea pot or cup with a tea cozy to retain warmth. Let the tea steep for a minute or two, then taste frequently, taking care not to leave the tea bag in too long or your tea may become bitter.

Serve with lemon slices, but skip the milk, clotted cream and substitute honey for sugar. Make your favorite zucchini bread or blueberry muffins. If you don’t eat white flour, try substituting whole-wheat flour, or spelt, along with applesauce or honey for sugar.

As I write this, I’m drinking a new organic, decaff green tea from Whole Foods and thinking about Yoko Ono and her unique, sometimes wacky sense of fashion. That day at the Palm Court, she had on a gentlemen’s Victorian top hat, with a purple veil that wrapped around the crown and dipped down across one side of her face. For those of you who don’t know, or don’t remember, Yoko Ono is an artist, musician and widow of former Beatle, John Lennon. As I sit here, I’m listening to John Lennon’s iconic song, Imagine, and adding a new line of my own:

“Imagine there’s no cancer (sic). It’s easy if you try. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

Listen to John Lennon’s voice and imagine… Play song from iLike.com

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Is There a Link Between Dairy and Breast Cancer?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

©Brenda Coffee. All rights reserved.

Anyone who pays moderate attention to the news knows there are certain risk factors, like family history, that skyrockets our risk of getting breast cancer and our ability to control it. We also hear about certain “controllable” risk factors; simple changes in our daily lives that could lower our risk of breast cancer or our risk of recurrence. What if one of those changes entailed giving up all dairy products? Did you know that according to the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, over 70% of the world’s population is unable to digest the milk sugar, lactose, after infancy? http://bit.ly/beqodR What if Mother Nature is trying to tell us dairy is not a food we should eat? Milk’s great for baby cows, but what if it’s not good for man? <PREVIEWEND>

There’s a lot of information about the suspected link between milk and breast cancer. The science behind this link ranges from hideous stories of puss-filled cow udders, nutritionally perfect for only one purpose—feeding calves—to studies that say milk is the great savior of brittle bones, weak hearts and cancer cells gone wild. Notice I said the “science behind,” because whenever we read about a “study” or a “suspected link,” we need to see who conducted the study, as well as who paid for it.

According to the Los Angeles Times, a recent study done by nutritionist, Connie Weaver, head of food and nutrition at Purdue University, says “anything less than three glasses of milk a day, and you won’t get all of the nutrients you need.” http://bit.ly/b0lii0 While most of her funding comes from the National Institutes of Health, she is also supported by the National Dairy Council. On the other side of the science surrounding milk, PETA and the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine says “cow’s milk is a nutritional nightmare that doesn’t belong in the human diet.” “Gross” and “bizarre” are words they use to describe the human practice of tugging at the udders of slow-moving livestock in order to benefit from the bodily fluids they secrete. Even Dr. Walter Willett, chairman of nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health says of milk, “the benefits are unclear, and there may be some risk.”

Breast milk, whether it comes from humans or other mammals, contains all of the natural growth factors, hormones, infections, antibiotics, additional drugs, chemicals and pesticides in which mammals come in contact. Some studies say milk causes the body to produce mucus, and cancer feeds on mucus, and therefore, by eliminating dairy products, we starve cancer cells. However, according to breastcancer.org, “a dairy-free diet is not a miracle cure.”

As long as we’re talking about studies, there’s been a lot of hoo-ha about T. Colin Campbell, PhD’s book, The China Study, a massive study of the relationship between diet and disease in over 100 Chinese villages. http://bit.ly/btvUqe The Chinese don’t eat dairy, and their breast cancer rates are very low. Breast cancer is considered the “rich woman’s disease” because only rich women, who can afford to eat a western diet high in red meat and dairy, get breast cancer, but is that really a link between dairy and breast cancer? If you look further into the China Study, only three out of the 65 counties studied consumed any noteworthy amount of dairy. In addition, they weren’t eating the hormone and antibiotic-laden cows we find in most Western cows. This could mean drawing any conclusions from the China Study is a narrow and tricky path to walk.

Since the science is still out on the link between dairy and breast cancer, you must decide this issue for yourself. My oncologist says “everything in moderation, including moderation,” so an occasional dish of ice cream or a great cheese won’t kill you. Personally, I gave up dairy and use almond milk as a milk alternative. Yes, I know, I recently wrote that nobody really knows whether almonds are a good or a bad phytoestrogen food. http://bit.ly/bky79s Trying to map out the “whys” behind the “dos” and “don’ts” surrounding breast cancer is like trying to find your way out of a Harry Potter maze. What do you have in your “Goblet of Fire?” Got dairy?
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Breast Cancer, Vaginal Dryness and Sex

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Have you ever noticed sometimes Mother Nature plays cruel tricks on us? You and your spouse take a trip to that romantic island you’ve always wanted to visit only to discover, at the most intimate of moments, you have vaginal dryness and intercourse is painful. You are not alone. Over half of all women over 40 suffer from vaginal dryness, and more than likely, it may be due to lack of estrogen.

Many women experience loss of estrogen well before menopause, others after a hysterectomy. A drop in hormone levels also occurs if you’ve undergone treatment for estrogen-receptor positive (ER+) breast cancer. I can’t think of a single side effect of low estrogen that isn’t just plain rude and frustrating, and trust me… I’ve experienced them all. The one that bothers me most, however, is vaginal dryness. Physicians call it sexual dysfunction, but simply put, it is pain during intercourse due to vaginal dryness. So what do you do? Doctors are not always comfortable discussing this subject, and perhaps you’re shy about asking. Once again, I am your trusty lab rat. <PREVIEWEND>

Cosmetics companies are always telling women to “moisturize.” That doesn’t apply just to our face and hands. With age and lack of hormones our vaginal tissues become thin and dry. They no longer “self moisturize,” or lubricate with arousal, and need a little help to keep intercourse from being painful. As a result of intense pain, many women look for ways to avoid sex. That isn’t good for your marriage, or your immune system. A study by endocrinologist, Dr. Winifred Cutler, at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, showed those who have sex once or twice a week showed 30% higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody which is known to boost the immune system. Fortunately, there are a number of products on the market to soften and moisten vaginal tissues, but if you’ve had estrogen positive breast cancer, none of them may be the perfect solution.

While most of the following suggestions take a few weeks to see results, they are well worth the wait. Start by drinking eight large glasses of water a day followed by eating a balanced, healthy diet. Many women who eat a low-fat, high-carb diet don’t get the nutrients needed to make enough estrogen for vaginal lubrication. If, however, your breast cancer was estrogen positive, you want to avoid foods containing phytoestrogens like soy and flax.

For some women, Vitamin E oil works relatively well and for others, personal lubricants bring immediate relief. I have tried them all and Replens Long-Lasting Vaginal Moisturizer Applicators, Replens Long-Lasting Liquid and Wet Naturals Barely Bare (there are many Wet Naturals, but use only Barely Bare) work best for me. All are water-based, which means the products are not sticky and gooey, and are paraben and estrogen free, which is important for me to avoid since my breast cancer was estrogen positive. Our bodies turn parabens—methylparaben, ethylparaben, propylparaben and butylparaben—into estrogen. Start reading labels and avoid products containing parabens. Some personal lubricants, like K-Y and Vaseline may be your tried and true favorites, but can cause unwanted friction, which can lead to more pain. Replens applicators and liquid and Wet Naturals Barely Bare may be a little harder to find than other alternatives, but you can purchase them at the RETAIL THERAPY store on BreastCancerSisterhood.com. http://www.breastcancersisterhood.com/retailtherapy.htm

For best results, insert one Replens Long-Lasing Moisturizer Applicator before sex—the earlier the better—in order to give the moisturizer a chance to soften your vaginal tissues. The instructions say the moisture lasts for up to three days, but at that, I was still having painful intercourse. A female gynecologist told me to use a Replens applicator everyday, whether I was having sex or not, to keep the tissues moisturized. Also inserting the applicator at night gives tissues the chance to absorb the moisture without trickling out and wetting your clothes like it does if you insert one in the morning.

While the right lubricant does makes a difference, intercourse may still be painful. If this is the case you might want to pour, yes, I said pour, the lubricant directly into your vagina. Do not be shy about adding more as you go along, and make sure your partner stays well lubricated as well. If you find intercourse is still painful, certain sexual positions are better than others. Experiment.

Regular sexual activity has been shown to improve vaginal atrophy by stimulating blood flow to the area. If you have vaginal dryness and haven’t had estrogen positive breast cancer, ask your doctor about low-dose vaginal estrogen tablets, the vaginal ring or the cream. Also, there has been a lot of talk in the last few years about bioidentical hormones, but that is a lengthy discussion for another day. Bottom line, since my breast cancer was estrogen positive, I don’t want to ingest, rub or look at ANY form of estrogen.

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Dear Kirk

Green Tea and Breast Cancer

Is There a Link Between Dairy and Breast Cancer?

Breast Cancer, Vaginal Dryness and Sex

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