Did you know that having a drink or two each day may increase your risk of getting breast cancer by up to 51%? Did you also know it does not matter if you are talking about wine, beer, or hard liquor? They all pose an increased risk. That is a staggering statistic and one that nags at me from time to time. So much for a glass of red wine a day because it is good for your heart. While it may be good for your heart, it is bad for your breasts.<PREIVEWEND>

Since my diagnosis I now wonder is there a link between alcohol and a recurrence of breast cancer?  My intuition says there is a link however the experts say not enough is known about alcohol and recurrence.  Before breast cancer I did not think anything about having a glass of wine or a couple of gin and tonics now and then. But now if I have one drink I wonder, will this be the one that triggers a recurrence of my breast cancer?

While my oncologist says everything in moderation, including moderation, I am not a moderate kind of girl. I am often at one end, or the other, of many given spectrums.  I go for weeks without even thinking about a glass of alcohol and then, like last night, have three Cosmopolitans. Hey it’s Vegas baby! Today I feel terrible, partly because I rarely drink at all, as in I have a hangover, and partly because I had the drinks in the first place.

It seems as though everything in life has some association with getting breast cancer: food, water, stress, sleep, sun, exercise, alcohol, estrogen, phytoestrogens in food and body care products, even sex, but these are all topics for future Brenda’s Blogs. Almost everything we do in life has risks. While we cannot avoid risks, we can educate ourselves as to whether we are willing to take them, or avoid them altogether.

I probably should be asking myself, if I believe there might be a connection between alcohol and a recurrence of breast cancer, why do I drink at all? Or, am I over reacting?

Do you ever feel the need to focus on something other than breast cancer, or maybe the need to get away, even if it's somewhere imaginary? While going through chemo my lack of energy made a trip to the kitchen feel like a trek to another county, and chemo brain turned reading into an Olympic sport. As a result I spent a lot of time in bed or in front of TV, watching cooking shows and The Young and the Restless, waiting for my energy to return. I soon discovered ways to have mini vacations without going anywhere, destinations that help me find a strong sense of inner peace and let go of things over which I have no control. One of those destinations is the daybed on the porch at the Little House.<PREVIEWEND>

Each week I try and spend time there, talking to God, listening to a meditation or hypnosis CD, or imagining myself atop my favorite Mayan ruin that overlooks the Caribbean. Other times I leaf through magazines, polish my toenails or simply watch the squirrels scamper from limb to limb. Just being there replenishes the Zen part of me breast cancer has pushed aside: the part that helps me squash my obsessive-compulsive worrywart and makes breathing easier.

When the morning breeze stops and the squirrels retreat from the impending heat, I realize my stolen time away is over. Like the squirrels, I find a cooler place to wait until the next time I can visit my healing place. Tell me about your healing place, or how you let go of your worries and fear. If you do not have a healing place, how are you going to find one?